How do I talk about it, without getting giddy, angry, sad, and frustrated all at the same time?

I love writing.  I love to put words on a page in the form of a story, so that others can enjoy.  It’s the one thing I am trying to dedicate myself to doing for a career, at this point in my life.  But I also have some issues surrounding it that give rise to some difficult emotions.

When my wife and I moved to the U.S., it was to be here for my mom who was dying.  She had been fighting cancer for 25+ years, on and off, and she eventually just didn’t want to go through another series of chemotherapy and all that was involved with that.  We knew, or at least my wife and I did, that this was going to involve her dying and that we needed to leave Canada and be near her for as long as we could.  And we did.  About 6 months after we moved here, she ended up having an episode that required an ambulance to take her to the hospital.  I was writing at the time I got that phone call.

Things got put on hold for awhile, obviously, as we were cooking for my family 3 or more days a week for the next 8 months or so.  My wife and I put a lot of things on hold to help my family.  And it was a very worthwhile thing.  Throughout the summer, my wife and I tried to reclaim a little bit of time for ourselves, but that stopped around September when things got a little worse.  But then she went into a “stasis” period where she actually looked like she was improving.  There was a nurse coming every day, and things were looking like I could get back to doing something about my own life.  So that lasted about 2 weeks, when we got the phone call that my mom had passed away.  I was writing at the time when I got that phone call, as well.

Life was on hold for awhile after that.  Longer than I expected, actually.  Considering that it is now September and the anniversary of her death is next month, one could say that I am long overdue to breakout.  Back in March, I ended up taking a writing class.  It actually served me well and I learned a great deal from it.  But I haven’t fully re-engaged in it for the past couple of months.  It’s difficult to get over the associated pain that goes with it.  Not that I am an emotional wreck or anything, really.  It’s just kind of a “block” of sorts, where I am always looking over my shoulder for something to happen that stops me from writing.  So I never really fully engage in anything, but rather set myself up so that I can stop doing whatever it is I am doing at a moment’s notice.  Which, sadly, isn’t conducive for much of anything that you want to  be good at.  I know this from having played golf for a career.  But part of me won’t let me get that kind of engaged in something yet.  And I don’t understand why that is.

So I will be talking about this, and hopefully my conquering it.

I do actually have several stories in the works.  I write, mostly, in the Science Fiction and Fantasy genres, with the occasional fiction/historical fiction stories thrown in.  Here’s what I am working on so far:

“Sand People” – The story of Gryvan Brae and his discovery of who he really is and his journey to help find out why caravans are getting ambushed in the desert pass in the Kingdom of Southwald.

“Nowhere” – Marko Krazak was just hired to be an engineer in the country of Aachen.  A country that, formally, doesn’t exist as an entity in the Global Consortium of Nations.  The GCN has monopolized the world in terms of network connectivity and global economy.  But all that is about to change as Aachen is about to make the boldest move ever.  It disappears.  From the radar, from network connectivity, and even from sight.

“Storehouse of Memory” – Deep in the recesses of an old monastery lies a secret facility that not even the world governments are aware of.  Within these confines lies the true history of mankind, as it has been played out over the past 1500 years.  Madeline Peters, a hacker and software developer, has inadvertently discovered an odd electronic trail which leads back to this monastery.  But what she doesn’t know, is that her discovery wasn’t by accident.

“Iconic” (Not totally fleshed out yet) – Known as “windows into heaven”, these pictures are revered by the most spiritually adept people the world has ever known.  But one person knows them for what they really are.

I’ll be sure to give updates on these works, as I get them into various states of finish.

See you soon!!!