“The best laid plans of mice.” – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Why is it so difficult for people to simply let other people be themselves? Is it simply THEIR failing to think of someone in any other way except what their preconceived notion is? I know that it must surely allow them to gallop across the vast expanse of their world, knowing where are all of the bumps in the road are, only to come across ones that either never existed, except in their own mind, or ones that exist because people are rarely ever that linear or predictable.
One of the first things I had to learn, on my way to becoming an adult, was to always give people enough rope to hang themselves. Rarely is anything accomplished when I am pushing them in any particular direction. It is a false notion that other people can determine your own happiness, so why should there be a Grand Poobah leading everyone to their own vision of happiness. It just doesn’t work like that.
Further, in my study of Philosophy, I learned that in the search of happiness we will always fall short of the perfect Happiness, namely Beatitude, in which we return to that which created us and we are made whole. We leave the Creator already paled from the infinite, subject to contrived notions of finitude, as well as decay. The further we fly away from that which was never meant to be flown away from, we find less and less of what makes us truly happy. So it stands to reason that a creation should always want to grow closer to its Creator, for fear of missing out on their reason for being created in the first place. You are only created because you were put into existence. You did not have to be created, but you were. And that is a gift unto itself.
This world can, at times, be a very terrible place to try and pursue happiness. In my experience, the world’s understanding is naturally flawed because it is filled with twisted half-truths and relativistic opinions that only have a self-seeking goal that matches nothing of what is intended for us. Put simply, there are lots of people with false and even antithetical notions of happiness, who wish to garner selfish power over those who would gladly hand it over to them, if it meant they could, in turn, borrow from this power and lord it over those who don’t think like them. Perhaps this has always been the case and it is simply my “time” to understand it for what it is and see the fallacies that are created in its wake. Perhaps everyone, at all times, feels this way about the world they lived in. Perhaps this is simply the way of things that has repeated itself, from time immemorial, without anyone truly realizing that the same mistake is made in a different way, over and over again.
There has to be some way of fighting through the muck and the mire and arriving where we need to be.
There are many people, in my life, who I simply have to ignore and let them live their lives without me, for fear of losing out on the happiness that I am pursuing. My idea of happiness, and theirs, are simply at cross-purposes. Their way seeks to criticize and judge, so that they can feel helpful. And it is in this “helping” that they feel they are positively contributing to your life, and that this “helping” is the way they show their love. All the hugs, as well as the awkwardly amorous and filial expressions, do is to create a situation where one’s love is never expressed except in the form of whatever helpful advice can be offered. While such advice can indeed have some benefit, when solicited or in need, the truth of the matter is that it usually is unsolicited and not needed. But to feel as if they are contributing something of value to my life, they continue to interject, judge, and determine the proper course of action that I should take, regardless of the fact that the advice solicited is more than likely the advice they themselves should be taking in order for them to become better people themselves. But that’s the way of things. Whatever works for us, MUST work for everyone else around us. And it simply isn’t true. History tells us that there is much danger ahead for those who think they can simply advise a similar path for those who may appear to be on the that same path, but because blindness caused by bias and partiality, it is in fact nowhere near the same path. I can ask one thousand people for a piece of advice on a particular matter and potentially get one thousand different answers. It is not until you query further that you find out that the advice given was something that worked for them. Which is great, except that I am different and the situation is probably different, even to the assurances that the situation is indeed similar.
Life is really complicated. That’s why I say that everyone should embrace who they are and what makes them uniquely them and do the things that you are gifted to do. If you are an artist…then create. If you are an athlete…then play. If you are a student…study.
Anything else that leads you away from being uniquely you, is simply a waste of time. Time that could have been spent being a happier you.